Joy · Kajal · Soul

I’m O.K., you’re O.K.

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Lately, when I’m feeling anxious, I check in with my heart. Sounds super-cheesy. I literally focus in on my heart and send my thoughts and energy there to kickstart that good feeling. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s the one you get when you get a diamond tiara, win a million dollars or get a promotion. LOL. The only one of those three things I’ve ever actually received is the last one, the promotion, which is indeed a wonderful feeling. Being recognized for your hard work and increasing your earning power is fabulous. But a promotion doesn’t happen every day. The problem with all of these things, other then being highly unlikely and rare is they are external, fleeting triggers of joy. They don’t come from within.

The best place to start and capture that feeling is from within. Kickstarting your joy with good, positive, loving thoughts and feelings puts the right energy in your heart. And that feeling is priceless. It let’s you know, “I’m ok, and because I’m ok, you’re ok, everything’s ok.”

-Kajal

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Kajal · Soul

How should it be?

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Instead of thinking how something shouldn’t be or how f*cked up things are, I’m trying to think how things should be and what the upside is. A lovely way of thinking.

Plus, Rachel just told me how to access free pictures in WordPress. So, I’m posting a pretty picture. Each stone stacked on top of the other in perfect balance. Another way to visualize how things should be.

-Kajal

Kajal · Soul

Lessons of a 99 year-old Yogi

On Thanksgiving Eve, I went for my much overdue annual physical. More than eight hours had passed since my last meal. My bladder was on the verge of exploding due to my paranoid obsessive over-hydrating. I was hangry and in a state.

Despite my efforts to hydrate, it took the lovely woman drawing my blood a hour to find a vein. When I got home and back online for work, I could barely type. With each keystroke, I felt like more blood was being drawn from me.

Light-headed, semi-starved, I made it to a lovely pre-Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Instead feeling refreshed and rejuvenated the next day, I woke up unable to turn my head left. The recurring literal pain in my neck had joined me for Thanksgiving day.

Not wanting to disappoint anyone, including me, I pulled myself together and headed to see my husband’s family. There I was greeted by the soulful smile and glittering eyes of Tao Porchon Lynch, also known as the world’s oldest yoga teacher and a close family friend of my in-laws.

We had barely started to speak about her recent trips to India where she had taught an audience of 11,000 people, when she kindly asked me to give her my foot. As she pressed firmly and deeply into the sole of my foot, the tightness in my neck started to wane. Enthralled, humbled and honored to have this precious moment with her, her words filled my soul. “Every day, I say, ‘this is the best day ever,’ and it is,” she explained. Truthfully, I was also a bit ashamed that she was helping to heal me, when as the supposedly younger one, I should’ve been taking care of her.

I could go on and continue to process this amazing Thanksgiving gift. I will probably write more about it as more epiphanies come to me. I just wanted to take a moment to write about the experience and share Tao’s spirit and loving heart is an example to us all. Wherever she goes, her pure soul brings out the best in others.

-Kajal

Balance · Kajal · Soul

Cancelling My Membership to the Perfectionist Club

It’s taken me several decades, but I’ve finally cancelled my membership to the Perfectionist Club. All these years, starting with school and now work, I have always put this immense pressure on myself to be perfect. Whatever I’m doing, whether it was a paper, a test and then later on something for work, I’d say to myself, “It has to be perfect,” as if the pressure and stress of the situation wasn’t already enough, saying that to myself only magnified the intensity of the situation. Suffice it to say, it did not make anything easier or better, it probably only made things worse.

I always thought having that perfectionist mindset was necessary to get the work done and do it well. Like, if somehow I didn’t think that way, I wouldn’t do well or be motivated to do well. Putting that pressure on myself became the norm, to the point where I was afraid that I’d not be successful if I didn’t act that way. Essentially, in my opinion, I formed a bad habit.

So, why now? I think yoga and how it has saved me in really desperate or challenging times in my life has a lot to do with it. Being older, my health and my body can’t take the stress anymore. And I’m starting to learn that I put my all in and work really hard, regardless of the pressure I put on myself. The perfection doesn’t do anything and isn’t needed. It just leads to overthinking and prevents me from moving forward.

-Kajal

Kajal · Soul

The Source of Creation

The other night, while cruising around on the TV, I stopped on The Voice, my finger hovering steadily over the advance button ready to press onto the next. Only, I found myself listening to this young guy’s unbelievable singing. And all I could say to myself was, he has ‘it’. We don’t know where it comes from or how it got there, but he’s got that precious gift. He can’t just sing. It’s like an invisible beam of light is coming down from somewhere in the heavens and coming through him.

I don’t know if he’s as good as or in the same realm as Frank Sinatra, whose song I heard when I flipped to another channel that same night. There’s nothing like hearing my favorite ‘Luck be a Lady.’ His voice is so unreal it seems godlike or from some other-wordly place, as if his body is simply an instrument to receive an amazing super power.

And speaking of instruments, I ended my TV cruise watching a biography about legendary jazz saxophonist, John Coltrane. Again, another artist with an innate ability that defies description. His music transports me to another place every time I listen to it. Where did he get his innate ability? What was his source of creation?

For me, all of the greats, musicians, painters, and writers have this innate seemingly god-like creative ability. When they create, there’s something greater coming from them, something from deep within their soul.

-Kajal