Every week I commit to hammering out a few blog posts so I have them ready to go on my days, Tuesday and Thursday. Between errands, time sensitive to dos, follow-ups, and other things, my lofty aspirations of writing a blog come crashing down. It’s the one unchecked item on my list, circled, underlined, and starred multiple times over, but never fully complete.
Laundry – done; make soup – done; pay bills – done; yoga class – done; blog – blank.
How do I follow through and bring this lofty aspiration into reality. It takes a degree of self-discipline. Is it better time management? Am I putting of writing my blog? We are reaching a midpoint. The freshness and newness of it was good. Maintaining the commitment of writing two times a week was never easy, but I was committed and more importantly I didn’t want to let Rachel or myself down. Plus, I was really proud to be out there, opening myself up, which isn’t me at all. Work overwhelmed me in January causing me to run out of steam.
And now I’ve been aiming to write once a week. It’s a lot like doing yoga or going to the gym – a muscle you have to exercise. So, where is my motivation, my discipline? At work, we do a job because we’re responsible for it. I do yoga – honestly – I thought about this one – because I pay a monthly fee to the studio and want my money’s worth. It’s the best way to keep me accountable; otherwise I find an excuse or sit at my desk and do more work. Same thing with going to physical therapy.
After working out or going to yoga, I always feel 100% better. When writing a blog post. I do feel a sense of satisfaction, especially when I read it over and think, “Hey, this is decent.”
So, feeling good is an outcome and I do enjoy the process. That’s the end and the middle. It’s the start and step before I start that’s really hard for me. Perhaps my goal is too high. Instead, I will aim to write one blog over the weekend and start with baby steps. Let’s see what happens…
Yesterday I woke up, checked my clock to see whether I had time to snooze only to see 3:40 glaring back at me. I was so panicked to see those numbers, I completely missed the AM and bolted out of bed to my work phone that I keep in the other room. My fear of missing meetings and conference calls and everyone at work thinking I was an imperfect slacker overtaking every cell in my body.
My heart was pounding so hard, if I hadn’t been able to get hold of my breath, I think I could have had a coronary. In hindsight, it was terrifying. Yes, the uncontrollable heart pounding, but even moreso, the fear of not being able to get it back to a normal hearbeat. I lay back down in my bed, taking each breath in and out slowly, the way I have described in previous blogs when describing centered breathing.
The heart is the fourth of seven chakras which consist of:
- Root Chakra – Survival
- Sacral Chakra – Creativity
- Chest/Solar Plexus Chakra – Will Power
- Heart Chakra – Compassion/Connection/Love
- Throat Chakra – Expression
- Third Eye Chakra – Intuition/Thoughts
- Crown Chakra – Wisdom/Spiritual Connection
Anahata, the original Sanskrit name for heart chakra, literally translates to “unhurt, unstuck, or unbeaten.” According to my research and yoga teacher training, feelings of shyness and loneliness signal a blocked heart chakra. The inability to forgive or a tendency to lack empathy, suggest you may be leading with your head more often than your heart. On the flipside, an overpowered heart chakra equates to feelings of codependency, the need for acceptance from others, jealousy or harsh judgement of others.
Whenever, I am feeling off kilter or like my center is missing, it’s time to realign my chakras. My pounding heart at 3:40 am was certainly a wake-up call to regain this balance, especially of my Anahata. It was a stark reminder to go back to thinking from my heart and not from my head, especially with those I love. Unblocking my heart chakra, through yoga and letting go, is an ongoing process. But whenever realignment or balance is achieved, there is a strong sense of calm and peace. Stating an affirmation is also a great step to reaching balance. What better way to work a little writing exercise into this than to write your own affirmation?
Here are some examples:
- I am open to love.
- I am peaceful.
- I accept things as they are.
- Love and acceptance are abundant in my heart.