For many years—most of my life—I’ve felt that the way to solve things is to read about them, think about them, write about them, talk about them. Stage debates, work from polar opposite positions and argue until you come a little bit closer together, with your vision reworked, your point of view altered. Do the research. State a position. Try to prove it. Ask for opposing views. Refine your position. Revise. Then act on whatever you’ve decided through this synthesis of conflicting points of view. Through this experiment where I’ve moved away from my reading/writing/thinking/debating model to incorporate and integrate a yoga practice I’ve realized how many times my old model didn’t get me any closer to where I wanted to be.
The daughter of a psychologist, the English-major devotee of a dialectic, I am moving away from this model, or perhaps more accurately, trying to incorporate another approach. That approach doesn’t try so hard. It is not so full of judgement. Not so quick to form opinions. It has a lot more time for simply observing. Becoming aware. Sitting quietly.
Maybe many of the issues I’ve felt had to be “solved” didn’t require immediate solution. Perhaps many of them simply required the ability to tolerate discomfort and stay in the moment. Many of the issues presented themselves as questions. The questions nagged and made me anxious. If I can lessen anxiety through yoga and meditation and being present, I can let the questions be. Again and again I come back to this Rilke quote:
“Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything.”