Chakras · Kajal · writing

Lofty Aspirations

Every week I commit to hammering out a few blog posts so I have them ready to go on my days, Tuesday and Thursday. Between errands, time sensitive to dos, follow-ups, and other things, my lofty aspirations of writing a blog come crashing down. It’s the one unchecked item on my list, circled, underlined, and starred multiple times over, but never fully complete.

Laundry – done; make soup – done; pay bills – done; yoga class – done; blog – blank.

How do I follow through and bring this lofty aspiration into reality. It takes a degree of self-discipline. Is it better time management? Am I putting of writing my blog? We are reaching a midpoint. The freshness and newness of it was good. Maintaining the commitment of writing two times a week was never easy, but I was committed and more importantly I didn’t want to let Rachel or myself down. Plus, I was really proud to be out there, opening myself up, which isn’t me at all. Work overwhelmed me in January causing me to run out of steam.

And now I’ve been aiming to write once a week. It’s a lot like doing yoga or going to the gym – a muscle you have to exercise. So, where is my motivation, my discipline? At work, we do a job because we’re responsible for it. I do yoga – honestly – I thought about this one – because I pay a monthly fee to the studio and want my money’s worth. It’s the best way to keep me accountable; otherwise I find an excuse or sit at my desk and do more work. Same thing with going to physical therapy.

After working out or going to yoga, I always feel 100% better. When writing a blog post. I do feel a sense of satisfaction, especially when I read it over and think, “Hey, this is decent.”

So, feeling good is an outcome and I do enjoy the process. That’s the end and the middle. It’s the start and step before I start that’s really hard for me. Perhaps my goal is too high. Instead, I will aim to write one blog over the weekend and start with baby steps. Let’s see what happens…

-Kajal

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One thought on “Lofty Aspirations

  1. Kajal I absolutely love this breakdown of what happens…where are the steps where you get tripped up? Also thinking through other commitments. One thing this blog has created (for me at least) is the moment to simply give one’s attention to something. So the object of the attention might be absence, a missed step, a missed blog, a goal never accomplished, an item underlined but never checked off. I think the mind of yoga, using that broadly, allows us to attend. We don’t have to rush ahead to: “Just get it done.” or “If it’s not working, try something else.” We can pause for a moment to simply consider. I think it was Wed that I was sure I was going to post…I knew what I was going to post…and then somehow I woke up Thursday and realized it hadn’t happened. Now obviously I was the one responsible for it not happening, but that wasn’t my experience. I raced through the day, like many of us, to do to do to do to do, all the “urgent” to dos, and then eventually fell into bed, stumbled into bed. Your honesty in this post is so refreshing and I’m also grateful you brought attention to the half-way point. I’m so glad–even though we’ve both “run out of steam” at times here–that we’re still going.

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