Yoga Etiquette (or revenge is a blog best served cold)

January is over and February has started. While I went on a hiatus from blogging last month, I did continue my yoga classes…along with everyone else. January in NYC is the month of people trying to keep their New Year’s resolutions. Go to the gym, start taking yoga, so on and so forth. In addition to all the Groupons and Class Passers, you have to deal with a bunch of yoga newbies.

And since starting this blog with Rachel, I’ve always tried to stay neutral or very Zen, calling out myself more than others. So advance apologies for doing something very un-yogic and venting about some of my pet peeves when taking a yoga class.

Body odor. Stinky, stinkable B.O. I mean the ripest of the ripe that curdles your blood. A whiff here or there is one thing but when it makes your soul want to gag instead of sigh, that’s a whole other level. A few weeks back, I was in class behind a lovely gentleman whose body odor was emanating from every single pore. It took all my strength to not wretch and set my gag reflex off. I ran out of that class so fast afterwards and scrubbed the B.O. off of me.

Stagger your mats, people. For Pete’s sake, don’t stand right in the same line as the person next to you. And if you do, have the courtesy not to bang into them each time you swan dive or lift your arms in a high prayer, you might poke their eye out. Even worse, they might poke your eye out, even when they don’t want to. This is so simple, yet, I see this all the time. It drives me bonkers. If you see me with my mat laid out, please set your mat 4-6 inches behind or ahead of mine so we don’t collide. My arms and body are not tiny and petite like yours. They are long and goofy and all mine.

Don’t, I repeat, don’t, move others’ props. This is the worst offense of all. I honestly feel that I shouldn’t even have to explain this, but here goes. I was in class last month and I had two blocks and a bolster in front of my mat. The class was crowded (all those resolutions still being kept) but they were not touching anyone else’s mat. This woman who is in front of me and a little to my right has the gall right smack dab in the middle of class, to move my stuff up by her to her left. So it’s completely out of my reach. It’s not like anything was in her way or on her mat. She kept rolling down on her mat, but as long as my props are not on the mat, that’s not my problem. Argh, it gets me worked up just thinking about it. Anyways, when the teacher said it was time to get the bolster, as I went up to get my stuff, I made an audible HISS in the guilty prop mover’s direction. It was a piercing HISS that caused her to jump back a bit. I dropped my bolster down with polite, yet, solid thud. If I ever come across that prop mover again, I will say something…



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